Reflections on the last 1.5 years

Now that I have some semblance of a future, I am starting to reflect on the recent past.  I couldn't have imagined all the things that happened to me since graduating from Michigan, and it has been an enlightening experience.  I've learned to make smart decisions about my future.  I've learned that I never want to apply for a job through craigslist again.  I am so glad that I did not go straight to graduate school because these experiences provided me with a truly unique perspective that I would not have otherwise:

-The Startup.  It took awhile for the bitterness to wear off, but finally, about 3 months after the layoff, I began looking back at this experience fondly.  I know I will be back at a startup someday, as I really miss working at a place that came home with me every night.  I miss the gritty, risky, get-your-hands-dirty nature.  I miss being a part of something and feeling truly committed to what I am doing.

-The Layoff.  I always thought I would be exempt from these things.  I am smart, well-educated, had outstanding grades, and I work really hard.  But so do a lot of people.  And in many cases, that doesn't matter.  A lot of getting laid off is pure bad luck, and this taught me to make smarter decisions about my career path and to be understanding of other people's situations.  Learn a skill.   Shed a tear for the state of Michigan.

-The Pro Bike Racer Thing.  I chuckled re-reading my personal statement: "After my layoff, I spent the rest of the year attempting to become a professional bicycle racer."  In this chapter, I justified mopping floors and being broke in the name of bike racing.  What I didn't realize at the beginning, though, was that I would really miss being challenged.   I also learned some really sad things about human character.  It was shocking to see how quickly people gave up on me after my injury.  That is ok, though, because it forced me to not give up on myself.  

-The Work 4 Jobs and Go It Alone Thing.  This last chunk has also been interesting.   I'm learning that I am talented, that I can be a good coach, and that I am qualified to do marketing and personal training.  I can build a small coaching business on my own, and I can do better than I did at an established company.  I can't let other people shatter my confidence and hold me back from reaching my potential.  I can be many things and still be good at them.   I became a coach because it is something that I love to do, and it doesn't have to be more than that.  I am a better coach/personal trainer if it is a hobby, not a full-time profession, because I am not limited by finances.  I can lower rates, access more clients, and truly help people, which is why I do it. 

This has all been a lesson in accepting things that I cannot control.  I am trying to accept these experiences for what they were without dwelling on the negative aspects of them.  Now that I have defined things to look forward to, this is much easier.

Back to School!

I received an acceptance letter today for U of Washington's program in Human Centered Design and Engineering. I am starting in January, and I am excited.

Although there is great potential for this to change, the plan is to incorporate the HCDE concepts (usability, interface design, human factors, etc) with my background in movement science to improve interfaces in healthcare and healthy living. This, in my opinion, is a very exciting application of the field for a few reasons:

1. Persuasive Technologies. If websites, mobile devices and interfaces are going to motivate people to be healthy, they have to be really persuasive. So far, I haven't really found a single interface relating to coaching that is persuasive and enjoyable to interact with. I've tried Training Peaks, Workout Log, and everything in between, but all of them are missing that persuasive factor, or the ability to engage users. Thus, I have to bug people constantly to update training peaks.

2. Culturally Sensitive Care. This applies mostly to healthcare. Definitions of sickness and health are very different across cultures (Read The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down). Misunderstanding these differences can be very destructive to a patient's care, which is why it's important that any healthcare interface that the patient may see is sensitive to these factors. This applies to design of the office, how sensitive materials are presented, and explanations of disease (you know, those handouts they give you on what your injury or sickness is). The HCDE program is really focused on the user, and this is especially important here.

Don't even get me started on the terrible interfaces I deal with on a daily basis, such as everything made by Powertap.

I need to do more thinking to figure out exactly what direction I want to go with this. The program is broad, so I have to narrow my focus on something. Usability, instructional design, interface design, and human factors are the most interesting to me.

Erin is on a military boat with my dad until tomorrow night with no way to contact him. It is weird finding out this news when I can't tell him or celebrate with him.

In other news, my hip still hurts and I am still waiting to see the doctor.

To be a fish at the zoo

This must be what it is like to be a fish in a tank at the zoo. All those signs that say "do not tap the glass!" but the little kids just keep tapping away with their snotty fingers. Tap tap tap.

I am home sick with the flu, but due to an unfortunate scheduling conflict, I got sick the same day that the painters are scraping away at the windows. They are preparing to paint them. Our side of the duplex is small, and you can't really get away from the windows. There are 3 people scraping on the windows, on different sides of the building. Tap tap scrape scrape I feel surounded.

Poor fishy. Never tap on that glass.

Around and Around

I've been injured many times, but never quite like this. This one cuts and nags and pierces (metaphorically). I don't mean to be whiny; I am just contemplating my options.

I was doing better, but last week I took about 20 steps backwards, and I'm back to the beginning. Pain at rest, pain while riding, pain while standing. It isn't terrible, in fact, it's not bad at all, but I've been down this road too many times, and any pain is not good.

The question is: what is next? I was only riding 3-4 days per week, no more than 6 hours total at mostly endurance watts. What would happen if I tried to race? Or train so I can get to the level where I can race? If I get over this, will it just be something else? It's been a constant battle for me in my whole athletic history. Build it up. It breaks back down. All along, my body has been saying no no no but my determined brain says yes yes yes. Maybe it is time for that brain to focus on something else. I need to find a balance, but I don't know how. I'm either unmotivated, or I want to be a top level pro. There has never been an in-between for me.

I preach this everyday, that health trumps everything. It's above competition, the bike, everything. Maybe it's time I listen to what I tell others. I think it needs more time. Lots of time.