My Progression

Today in one of my classes, we talked about social media. Social media is like candy to me. I understand it well, I find it really interesting, and I think I have a knack for it. Actually, it was probably the most interesting 4 hours of class I've had since I started grad school. I've thought about this before and wondered if maybe I should be in school for something else, but now I am starting to see how all these pieces fit together and how my experiences will prepare me to hold a unique perspective in this field.

I started out in marketing, which I really liked. I especially like consumer electronic marketing and other things in that realm. I'm also really interested in customer experience. Initially, with this program, I thought that I wanted to focus more on the HCI/programming side, but as I slog through hours and hours of fruitless javascript programming, I just don't think that's where I want to be. This doesn't mean that I don't have any interest programming, but rather that the time goes by faster and I find more enjoyment when I am doing things towards the other end of the spectrum.

I also realized something else today. If I try to position myself more on the engineering/programming side, I just don't see how I can ever catch up and keep up with the people who are really good at it and have been doing it for a long time. In this setting, I feel like I will always, or at least for a long while, be the least knowledgeable of the group. But if I move towards the other side of the spectrum, I have more technical, creative, and natural skills that put me in a better position. I feel like I have more to contribute to this end, mostly because I like it more and because a lot of user experience people don't know much about marketing, branding, SEO, etc, things that are really important.

The Bike Racer Mind - Pea Soup in a Blender

It's been over a year now since I began my quest to rid my hip of pain. It's been a long journey, and I'm still not very close to returning to the racing scene. The physical therapy is still up and down, and although I think it will help, the jury is still out on what the end result will be.

Despite this trying year, I still want to race my bike, and I still think of myself as a bike racer. Erin broke his jaw at Seward on Thursday, and each time I put pea soup in the blender so that Erin can drink it through a straw, I think "all this, for bike racing?" I also think of the other people I know who have crashed badly lately, and I wonder if this is all worth it.

On paper, bike racing is a pretty dumb sport. It's dangerous. And unpredictable. And about 90% of the time, it doesn't go the way you want it to. Unfortunately, these drawbacks are the exact reasons why I can't give it up. Bike racing terrifies me. Each completed race is a victory for me. Each moment on the journey is a challenge. I've entertained thoughts of making a triathlon comeback, but triathlon was always sort of easy for me. Easy in that it's predictable, I'm pretty good at it, and it comes naturally to me.

But bike racing doesn't come naturally to me at all. No one believes me when I say this, but I'm actually pretty bad at it.

I think challenging myself in this way is really important. Sometimes in my classes, people talk about how they aren't comfortable speaking in front of the class because they get nervous. This isn't an excuse, in my opinion. Throughout my whole life, I've done things that make me unbelievably nervous, such as bike racing, horseback riding, competitive figure skating and competing in general. After zipping through turns in a big pack or crashing on pavement, speaking in front of a class isn't so bad at all.

Actually, I can't really think of anything in daily life that is scarier than bike racing.