too cheap for a stamp

i had to go into my old office to get my paycheck today because they are too cheap to mail it.

it was weird, and it made me angry.  everyone was all wah wah we miss you wah wah.  then they proceeded to make fun of me for planning on doing a cyclocross race tomorrow.  they laughed in my face.  

funny, considering that, you know, it's a helmet camera company.

Day 6 - Screw It

I'm over it.

I'm over this stupid startup,  and I'm over this 9-5 working biz.

I've been riding my bike a lot lately, and I'm going to keep doing it.  I'm 22, and at this rate, I have a shot at really doing something with this.  I don't want to look back and think "I could have been a pro, but I worked my 20s away instead."  I've never trained for bike racing, and I can already tell that it's making a difference.

So here is the new plan:  Become a certified personal trainer (CSCS of course), work better hours to accommodate my desire to ride my bike in daylight, and give this one heck of a shot.

Then I'll worry about growing up and entering the corporate world when I'm older.  

Better!

I did the cx race at Ft Steilacoom today.  It was much better.

This was a little more classic cyclocross.  It had some wider than usual singletrack sections, some descents, some tricky off camber sections, and a lot of room to haul ass.

I had a really bad start and began the race probably 3rd to last.  I got into a rhythm, though, and gradually passed a bunch of people.  I ended up in 11th/35 riders.  It was a lot of fun once I got into my rhythm.  I was passing a lot of people on the hills, flats, and the long hurdle/run up section.  There was a long hill with 4 hurdles and then more hill.   I ended up running the whole hill, which was just as fast as the people who tried to get on right after the hurdles.  Many of them failed at this.

I was also doing better in the technical sections, and by the end I wasn't getting passed in them.  I am looking forward to more of these less mountain bikey races.  It's nice that my triathlon experience gave my legs this magical power to run off the bike no matter how little I run.  It's great.

Training is going well.  I got a coach last week, and I've been ramping up my training.  I guess it's good that I lost my job because this is key base time.  And the weather has been great! 60 and sunny today.

Erin raced too, and he did well.  

truck

i feel like i just got hit by a truck for 4 months. and today i was handed my medical bill.

i'm having trouble grasping this. i was so invested in the company. work didn't leave me when i went home; i was always thinking of things to make it better, the problems that i saw, what i could do to fix it, what was on my plate for the next day. for awhile, i felt like i was watching a train wreck. now, i feel somewhat lucky, like i got on one of the first rescue boats on the Titanic.

i'm just confused. i feel like instead of keeping the good people they kept the good positions. i know that my position wasn't really necessary, but i do think that i could have done a great job in any other area and i do think they were stupid to let me go. i would have been in it for the long haul. i worked hard; i was ready to sell as many cameras as i could today. as much as i wanted to quit, i wouldn't have because i'm too stubborn. i probably would have been around for the next startup too. meanwhile, the people who stayed have plans to move away within a year and aren't really interested in the future of the company.

it's just weird. a few weeks ago, people were talking about how the hard workers will stay and others will leave by various means. they told me i was a hard worker and that they noticed all the work i did. but today i sat in a room with 4 other hard workers as we were told we no longer had jobs. i honestly felt like i was on american idol in the room that doesn't go forward. everyone else was in the you made it! room. people used to say that they were going to do a bunch of startups and that they just need a good team. i said i would do it. maybe i don't want to be involved if the team they chose today is the team.

it's surreal. but whatever, it's their loss.

but really, it's retarded.

[this was written in a state of anger, and a lot of these thoughts were transient]

laid off

today, 5 people in our company got laid off, including me.

the latest investor round didn't go well, so they got rid of everyone that isn't crucial to the company (basically anyone not sales or development). it sucks. i'm angry. but it's for the better i guess because i didn't like working there anyway. i wanted to quit a bunch of times, but i was too stubborn to do it.

so...now i have tons of time on my hands. lovely, jobless in seattle, again.

i just wish they'd given some notice.

Cat 2!

I was bored at work the other day, and I convinced myself to apply for an upgrade to Cat 2.

What was I thinking?  I don't know.  I figured, if I have the points, I might as well try.  My upgrade got approved this morning.  I'm really excited about it because now I have something else to look forward to other than work.  I really want to give this thing a shot, and with all my collegiate points, it was silly to waste them.  The only thing is... people are madd fast out here.  It ain't like Michigan.

I've been riding a lot this week, feeling super motivated.  It's a long, rainy winter here in Seattle, so hopefully it lasts.  I have been feeling great, though!  I rode a hard 40 yesterday and didn't feel too taxed.  Then I did another 25 this morning with a lot of flat sprints/stomps.  Riding is hard around here;  it takes a long time to ride 40 miles!

My hamstrings are super sore from cx practice on Wednesday.  Overall, though, cx is really helping me.  My cornering is feeling a lot better.  Erin is helping me with that, too.  I feel like I am one with the bike on the road.  Love that Colnago. :)

Another Mountain Bike Race

Today marked another mountain bike race, but unfortunately, no one told the competitors, so we all brought cyclocross bikes.

I did ok.  I beat 7 people this time!  I was having a lot of trouble clipping in because my cleats were completely caked in dirt.  I think I would have done a lot better if it weren't for that.  My mounts and dismounts were a lot better, and I felt generally faster through the single track.  This course was more single track than last week, but it was easier and wider.  

I finally have my new bike, which is gorgeous.  I need to get better at this so I can represent my Yeti well.  

Erin raced, too, and he did well.  He is a little out of shape, but his awesome mtb skills put him at about midpack.   The single track was too narrow to pass people, which didn't work so well for his strengths.  I am still scared to ride on single track, but I am getting there. 

You can ride a road bike on this?

My experience yesterday was... interesting.  I did another cyclocross race, but this one was about 50% single track (or what seemed like 50%).

If you know me, you know that my experience of off road riding consists of this:

-Attempting to mountain bike 2 years ago.  Getting terrified, shaking uncontrollably.  Staying clear of anything off road.

-Coaxing myself into 2 dirt road races this spring.  Before that, I wouldn't set a tire on dirt.

-Successfully mountain biking in September for about 35 minutes. 

It's taken me a long time to come that far, and cyclocross is really throwing me through the off-road gauntlet.  As I did a warmup lap, I convinced myself that the single track was too much and that I couldn't race.  I didn't even know you could take a road bike on this stuff.

Erin wouldn't let me do that.  I reluctantly went to the start line.  I did not do well in this race.  In fact, I got 2nd to last.  I'm not used to being bad at bike related things, but this is good for me.  It's teaching me that I don't always have to win, and I don't have to do well for it to be fun.  It was still a challenge for me, and I did finish!  I even made it through the single track section on the last lap without getting off at all.  

So for now, I will crawl through this cyclocross business.  I'm not even at a point where I can do these races hard because my technical skills are so behind.  How is it that I'm so bad at this?  I've been racing for a long time, and everyone else seems to pick it faster than me.  I guess this is my weakness.

At least it's not the engine that's the problem.

I'll tell ya one thing.  Cyclocross out here is a lot different than in the Midwest.   

Otherwise, things are going well.  I'm having trouble finding fenders that will fit on my Litespeed, my appointed rain bike.  I rode a hilly 35 miles today feeling pretty good.  Work is boring.