Options within Options

I am getting much closer to figuring out this grad school thing.  

I found a program at UW, Human Centered Design and Engineering, that is exactly what I want to do.  It is multi-disciplinary so I could take courses in computer science and school of information.  I can combine my background to do usability testing/interface design in a health-related field.  or maybe not.  Maybe in any field.

Anyway, I found out that not only is this exactly what I want to do, but I can apply to start in the winter.  There is also an evening option, which is funded differently so I don't have to worry about getting residency (which I don't have).  I can save lots of $$ and start school SOON if all goes according to plan. :)

I got an MRI today, so I am waiting to find out what is wrong with my hip.  I think it is a tear of some form, but we will see on Thursday.  I came really close to passing out when they injected the dye.

This has been a busy week.  Erin's mom and step dad were in town for a wedding, so we were busy doing the family/wedding thing.  Erin's step dad is from Seattle, and his family all lives out here (they are a big family!).  They have been our sort of adopted family since we moved here.  It was a big, Greek orthodox wedding; an interesting mesh of cultures since the bride (Erin's step cousin) is Irish/Catholic.   In the mean time, Erin's step-uncle has been battling pancreatic cancer for the last 2.5 years.  He is going through a rough patch, and Erin is with his family in Portland now visiting him in the ICU.   There are a lot of unknowns at this point, but there is still hope.  My thoughts are with him.

It is very moving to be near their family at a time like this.  So many different kinds of love, with the weddings and the sickness.   It really puts life in perspective, and it makes me want to move closer to home one of these days.

A Dress for a Wedding

Finding a dress to wear to a wedding is very complicated.

You can't wear white, and you can't wear black because you don't want to look morbid.  You can't wear a bright solid color because you don't want to look like a bridesmaid (what if it turned out to be the same color?!).  It can't be too short or too skimpy because you will feel awkward in the church (even more so than someone like me normally would).  It can't be too long because it is hot and you don't want to look frumpy.

Thus, it took me approx 4 hours to find a dress to wear to this wedding.  I am still not even sure if it is appropriate.

Keep Pushing

It's been awhile since I've updated.  My class is very time consuming.  I've spent long hours in the studio already, and we are only about 3 weeks in.

I am learning a lot, and it is weird to do something that I am not very good at.  I struggle with making models because I am not very precise, and I have difficulty cutting straight lines.  This is why my 2nd grade teacher thought I was retarded.

I'm not sure that architecture is the real path that I want to take, but I am getting closer to where I want to be.  I know that I want to be on the design spectrum on some level, somewhere between engineer and artist, but I'm finding that architecture is a little too far on the artist side.  I'm now looking into other things like human-centered design/engineering, which I think would be a great fit for me.  I will still give architecture a chance.  It has been good to explore and be humbled.

On the injury front, not much progress has been made.  Still no formal diagnosis.  I am feeling better at rest, but things start to hurt again when I start moving.  

I find myself constantly pushing in every aspect of my life.  Pushing to figure out what I want.  Pushing to get back on my bike.  In the mean time, it feels like life is changing and moving on without me.  If I were a psychic, I would sense a coup d'etat in the near future.  I am anxious to see what happens, a little scared, but mostly excited because change would be fantastic.    

Back to School, but it ain't Michigan

Today was my first day of school.  I am taking an architecture class at UW.  It is so much fun!

We played with paper most of the time, experimenting with ways to make structures without glue or tape.  I was feeling a lot of pressure at first because this class is pretty competitive and many people are trying to get into the grad program.  

Then I remembered: I am a frickin Wolverine and I am good at math.  Even if my art skills aren't quite up to par with an art major because I didn't major in art, I have more analytical skills than all these kids.  And my art skills aren't that bad.  AND I got into architecture school twice already, so there's no reason I can't get in a 3rd time.  

I was feeling nostalgic towards Michigan today.  I went to the UW bookstore, and they didn't make me leave my backpack at the entrance.  How odd.  That must be the Michigan Difference that all those commercials speak of.   There have been a few instances that made me think Michigan > Washington, but of course, I am slightly biased.

Wavering

I have been wavering in and out of disappointment lately.  

I have a few new things on my plate to keep me occupied.  I am taking an intro to architecture class this summer, as that is something I have always had interests in and I keep returning to it as a career path.  I'm also working on a little animation project which is proving to be quite time consuming.  

I am still bummed, though.  Bummed to be missing out on the races, to be sitting at home while everyone else is out there killing it.  It isn't so bad because I am keeping busy, but it's hard not to look at this as a catastrophic failure.   I'm also not really feeling better.  I rode literally around the block this week, and that hurt.  The doctor's visit gave me no answers except that I need to do more physical therapy.

I'm not sure what my cycling future will entail.  I may go back to training the way I did during collegiate season last year.  This would provide a more balanced life, but I will have to reevaluate my goals.  It is hard to let go of the dream, but I have to be realistic or find a different way to make it work.  

Life is OK without Bikes

This weekend was nice.  On Friday we went to the velodrome to watch my teammates kick some serious booty on the track.  That was fun to watch and live vicariously through them.

Yesterday Erin and I went to U Village to go shopping, but I couldn't find anything to buy.  I am getting picky with my increasing cheapness.  Then we went to Greenlake to put our feet in the water/sand, but the beach has steps, which is a little anti-climactic.  Finally we went downtown and saw the Hangover, which was pretty funny.

Today I spent most of the day playing with my new colored pencils and making a stuffed octopus for the summer solstice parade.  He is almost done!   He is stuffed with plastic bags and fabric scraps.

My fingers continue to go numb pretty frequently.  It was better today because I didn't move very much, but yesterday just walking around made everything hurt a lot.  Looking forward to the doctor on Tuesday.   I thought about trying to ride my bike today, but I really just didn't feel like it.  

Quite a week!

This has been quite the week.  

On Tuesday I met with a bioengineering advisor at UW about some options there.  Upon more reflection, I'm not sure that heads down engineering would be the right fit for me.

On Wednesday I went to Lynden to explore a potential marketing side-project to eat up some of my seemingly endless free time.  Wednesday night I helped make sea critters for the Fremont parade.  It is part of the anti-plastic bag campaign, so there will be plastic bag monsters eating the pretty sea critters.  I'm now trying to figure out how to make a stuffed octopus.  Also feeling bad about frequently forgetting my reusable bag when I go to the grocery store.

Yesterday I was a supermodel at REI.  Not really, but I modeled some clothes at a buyers meeting at the REI headquarters.  That would be a cool place to work!  Lots of interesting things going on.

So in thinking more about my future, I'm back to this architecture thing.  I wanted to be an architect when I was a little kid.  My dream was to build a round house with a spiral staircase going up the middle.  I wasn't sure that this was the right direction for me, so I didn't go to U of Cincinnati for undergrad (#1 in the country at that time)  and I didn't use my preferred admission to Michigan's program.  Now here I am 5 years later thinking "damn, shoulda done that."  But shoulda woulda coulda, I had to explore my options.  

I am lucky in this sense, which Erin pointed out to me yesterday.  Most people are very limited in what they can do because they are either math/science people or humanities people.  I have never been one of those people, so it's been very difficult to narrow down my options.  While I often drag myself in the wrong direction because of this, it's a good problem to have.  Having a world of opportunity isn't such a bad thing.

On another note, I'm realizing that people misunderstand me for a number of reasons.  Erin politely pointed these out too.  I am often quiet and I have trouble jumping in conversations.  When I do jump in, it's often a sort of random non sequitur, and people are left thinking "that was weird."  I am also not very forthcoming with information, partly because I feel like I have to talk really fast and to the point to get people to listen.  Also partly because I don't think people really care and I'm not incredibly proud/comfortable with what I am doing at the moment.   This often makes me come off as a know-it-all.   This is all magnified around certain personality types.

Erin says that in the context of my family, I make sense.  Unfortunately, not everyone knows my family.