My Progression

Today in one of my classes, we talked about social media. Social media is like candy to me. I understand it well, I find it really interesting, and I think I have a knack for it. Actually, it was probably the most interesting 4 hours of class I've had since I started grad school. I've thought about this before and wondered if maybe I should be in school for something else, but now I am starting to see how all these pieces fit together and how my experiences will prepare me to hold a unique perspective in this field.

I started out in marketing, which I really liked. I especially like consumer electronic marketing and other things in that realm. I'm also really interested in customer experience. Initially, with this program, I thought that I wanted to focus more on the HCI/programming side, but as I slog through hours and hours of fruitless javascript programming, I just don't think that's where I want to be. This doesn't mean that I don't have any interest programming, but rather that the time goes by faster and I find more enjoyment when I am doing things towards the other end of the spectrum.

I also realized something else today. If I try to position myself more on the engineering/programming side, I just don't see how I can ever catch up and keep up with the people who are really good at it and have been doing it for a long time. In this setting, I feel like I will always, or at least for a long while, be the least knowledgeable of the group. But if I move towards the other side of the spectrum, I have more technical, creative, and natural skills that put me in a better position. I feel like I have more to contribute to this end, mostly because I like it more and because a lot of user experience people don't know much about marketing, branding, SEO, etc, things that are really important.

The Bike Racer Mind - Pea Soup in a Blender

It's been over a year now since I began my quest to rid my hip of pain. It's been a long journey, and I'm still not very close to returning to the racing scene. The physical therapy is still up and down, and although I think it will help, the jury is still out on what the end result will be.

Despite this trying year, I still want to race my bike, and I still think of myself as a bike racer. Erin broke his jaw at Seward on Thursday, and each time I put pea soup in the blender so that Erin can drink it through a straw, I think "all this, for bike racing?" I also think of the other people I know who have crashed badly lately, and I wonder if this is all worth it.

On paper, bike racing is a pretty dumb sport. It's dangerous. And unpredictable. And about 90% of the time, it doesn't go the way you want it to. Unfortunately, these drawbacks are the exact reasons why I can't give it up. Bike racing terrifies me. Each completed race is a victory for me. Each moment on the journey is a challenge. I've entertained thoughts of making a triathlon comeback, but triathlon was always sort of easy for me. Easy in that it's predictable, I'm pretty good at it, and it comes naturally to me.

But bike racing doesn't come naturally to me at all. No one believes me when I say this, but I'm actually pretty bad at it.

I think challenging myself in this way is really important. Sometimes in my classes, people talk about how they aren't comfortable speaking in front of the class because they get nervous. This isn't an excuse, in my opinion. Throughout my whole life, I've done things that make me unbelievably nervous, such as bike racing, horseback riding, competitive figure skating and competing in general. After zipping through turns in a big pack or crashing on pavement, speaking in front of a class isn't so bad at all.

Actually, I can't really think of anything in daily life that is scarier than bike racing.

Burke Gilman Race Report!

Today I got involved in a heated race with this guy:


Leading up to this big race, I embarked on a new, more aggressive recovery operation. This includes:

1. More aggressive physical therapy with relatively aggressive joint mobilizations.
2. Acupuncture every week plus little needles left in throughout the week.
3. More ice. At least twice a day.
4. More exercise. It is time to start moving again.
5. More work to break up the scar tissue.

With this combined effort, I am starting to feel pretty good. Sore, but not in pain, so I registered for the Sunday Afternoon Sunday Burke Gilman World Championships. My main competition was this guy. The race breakdown was like this: he passed me, stopped, passed me again, stopped, I turned around, he turned around and passed me, he stopped, then passed me again, then we got stuck at the light and he passed me again. 5 times, he passed me. I put in a good fight, but unfortunately he must have more fast twitch muscle than me because he rode away from me and that was that.

The good news is that competitive spirits die hard, and it takes absolutley all the mental energy that I have to not ride harder and pass people. At least I didn't get passed by a roller blader this time...

What are they doing to you?

I keep wondering what they are doing to my poor bicycle.

I like to pretend that he ran away because I didn't ride him enough. I could forgive this. I am sorry that I didn't ride you more, but I was injured. You know you were high up on my list of favorite bikes. I am sorry that I locked you up outside.

And then I wonder what the robbers looked like. How did they steal you? Did they strip you down into pieces? I hope they at least let you keep your dignity. Are you crammed in a room with a bunch of other bikes, like a train on the way to a concentration camp? Are you sad and aware that you have been stolen? Gosh I hope not. Maybe they covered you with a sheet so you can't see.

Oh, Yeti, I am sorry. I know I should have ridden you more. Please come back and I will make it up to you.

Conclusion: The world does not want me to be a bike racer

I am finally starting to feel better, so I commuted to school by bike. The first day that I've been able to commute since October.

And then my bike got stolen.

Yeti Arc-X cyclocross bike with SRAM Rival, Ksyrium SL wheels, and a janky Bianchi saddle.

I filed a police report, and it is a pretty obscure frame, so maybe it will show up. The cop said there is an 85% recovery rate. Not sure if I believe that number, but we will see.

I don't know if I should laugh or cry.

At least I rode hard enough on the way to school for my legs to feel achy, and my hip does not hurt at all.

Now I feel dumb for locking up my Yeti outside, but it is the cheapest bike I have. I had a feeling before I left today that it would get stolen. I thought to myself "my car has never gotten stolen from the parking lot." ...

This weekend I...

-Watched a marathon of 16 and Preggerz because Erin is out of town and he hates that show (understandably), but now I can watch it all I want!!

-Walked far enough to start sweating. First time in a while, and I went to Elliott Bay Park, which is really pretty and along the edge of the Sound. I had never been there before, and now I have a new appreciation for the recreational areas in this city.

-Got angry about the unjustifiable claims that researchers are making in some of my assigned articles. I think my class on empirical traditions is working because now I feel angry towards the majority of the research that I read. I used to just enjoy things, but now I can't. My margin notes say things like "WTF?!?!" and "YOU CANT MAKE THIS CLAIM!!" and occasionally "This is retarded" when I get really angry.

-Ate beets and ice cream for dinner. I always get nervous the day after I eat beets (especially 3 of them). Do I need to see a urologist?

-Felt like a nervous mother because my friend/teammate crashed hard at Walla Walla, and I couldn't find details for a few hours. I took out my nervousness by making this: Heal Fast!

The Don't Ask, Don't Tell Realm of Medicine

I started acupuncture a few weeks ago as a last ditch effort to make my hip feel better. I think it is working.

I tried acupuncture last year when my back was hurting, but I wasn't convinced, and I didn't go back. The acupuncturist that I've been seeing lately is a bit more convincing. He talks about trusses and structures and mechanics, not blood lines and energy.

He also leaves little needles in my hip for the whole week. They are itty bitty needles, sort of like thumb tacks, with bandaids covering them. Sometimes if I move too quickly, they hurt. And they itch a little bit, probably because I'm allergic to bandaid adhesive.

But I think it is working. I was able to walk more this week, and I was in a lot less pain than usual. My hip has been tender to the touch ever since surgery, and this is the first week that it is not tender.

I don't really care about justifying why it works. I just want it to work. I don't think it's placebo, though. I've wanted a lot of things to work this past year. I am starting to feel antsy and lazy, which I think is a good sign. Being in pain for over a year is tiring and stress-inducing, but I think that stress is finally lifting. The acupuncturist told me not to do anything different these first few weeks, and it's taken a lot of effort to not try to ride my bike. Next week, I tell myself.

I am finally being forced to commit to things in my life, with regard to school and this new profession. This feels weird and makes me squirm a bit, but if I squirm too much, the needles hurt. Good needles. Keep me in check.