A Thought

I thought for awhile that bike racing was a thing of the past, that it was time to move on from being an athlete.  But when I overhear people talking about threshold watts and specific races, it really tugs at my competitive ropes.  I'm just not sure that I can give it all up yet.  

I have been reading Born to Run, and this really struck me:  

"There are two goddesses in your heart.  The Goddess of Wisdom and the Goddess of Wealth.  Everyone thinks they need to get wealth first, and wisdom will come.  So they concern themselves with chasing money.  But they have it backwards.  You have to give your heart to the Goddess of Wisdom, give her all your love and attention, and the Goddess of Wealth will become jealous and follow you.  Ask nothing from your running, in other words, and you will get more than you ever imagined."  And then it proceeds to talk about how the secret to running success is love - running because you love it.  

First of all, this book is dangerous for me to read right now because it really makes me want to go running.  I miss running, but that is another story.  Last year I spent a lot of time worrying about watts and numbers and placings, and it's becoming clear to me that this mindset is all wrong.  Unfortunately, it is an easy trap to fall into when everyone around you is blabbing about numbers and training programs.  When I look back to 2008, I did really well on not much training at all, probably because I was just having fun with it and going wherever it took me.   I've made this mistake a number of times before - the more I focus on a sport, the worse I do, but it's always been tricky for me to balance these thoughts and motivations.

As the date of my hip surgery approaches (Dec 4th! Eek!), I'm contemplating more and more how I will get back on the bike and in what direction.  Maybe I don't have to think about it.  Maybe I should just ride because I like to, when I want to, and leave it at that.  Maybe it's time to turn off the powertap and just tune into how I feel.  I know I will be fast again (this is obviously a relative term), but does it really matter how high my threshold power is?  Does that really mean anything anyway?