Grad school is hard.

This quarter is weird. Last quarter was relatively easy. Most of the projects we did were practical in nature. We carried out user-centered design activities and played with sticky notes.

But this quarter, there are no sticky notes. Our readings are long and dry, and for some reason, whenever I try to print them, they print in all black.

In addition to eating up all of my toner and frustrating me beyond comprehension, this also makes it very difficult for me to engage in active reading. I have trouble reading from my computer because I have the attention span of a 6 year old, and I check my email approximately every 10 minutes. Even if I do not check my email while trying to read an article, I will think about it until the urge becomes so great that I have no recollection of what I've just read. Old habits die hard.

This is also the first time I have felt dumb and inferior on a regular basis. I sailed through undergrad without much trouble, and I was pretty confident in my abilities. I'm taking one class in the night program, and many of these students have years and years of related experience. How do I compete with that? Work harder, I guess. I am only 24.

Additionally, this is the first time that I have had to take a difficult class that I do not like at all. It is easy to do well in fun, difficult classes or easy, boring classes, but difficult, boring classes are a whole new realm for me. I am trying to find something to grasp on to make the class more interesting as a means to trick myself into liking it. I can trick myself into doing VO2 intervals on the bike, and I can trick myself into mopping floors for a living, but I am having a brawl of a time tricking myself into this one.

The good news is that I am not alone. And I am only in my 2nd quarter.