I haven't completely made a decision on this yet. The surgery is risky because sometimes it doesn't work and sometimes people are worse after. The doctor said there is an 85% success rate. I'd like to hope that youth is on my side, and I can't find anything negative about this particular doctor, but I am scared. At this point, it seems like my options are to either quit being an active person indefinitely or get surgery. I guess I can't really get too much worse; now I have trouble with basic things like walking and sitting at work, and activities like swimming and cycling seem like a dream. If it isn't successful, it's unlikely that I'll be worse off.
I have the feeling that whether or not it is successful, my days as a highly competitive athlete are numbered, if not up. I base this thought mostly off of the number of injuries I've had in the past, but this one really trumps them all, and this time it really feels like my time is up. I really screwed up this time by following bad advice and training too much despite knowing better. I'm trying not to blame myself or others for this, but it is a slow process. I still may be able to race occasionally, but not like before and probably not at a super high level, mostly because I don't want to do this to myself again. I don't want a walker when I'm 60. I just want to be able to go on a hike or maybe go for a swim. Maybe it will be good for me to focus on something other than winning and performance, such as helping others win.
The other option is to pull the plug on being an athlete now and see how my hip responds. But I did pull the plug on competition in May, and it has since gotten worse during my attempt to just be a normal, active person. I feel like I am up a proverbial creek.
1 comment:
I am sorry to hear that you're faced this kind of decision. I hope that it all works out, best of luck.
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